Every few months, I get a very polite email from a man I’ve never met who got my email address from a defunct online discussion group. Each time, he asks me to help him get Ecco Pro working on his Windows 8 computer.
And every few months, I respond politely to explain that I’ve never used Ecco Pro, so I have no insights whatsoever. I also remind him, gently, that Ecco Pro hasn’t been updated since 1997, and Microsoft dropped Windows 8 a decade ago.
I could also add that I have no technical expertise, but it wouldn’t matter, because it never matters what I say. He disappears for a few months then returns with his next problem.
This week, he’s trying to upgrade to Windows 10 (why?), but the guy who ran the Ecco hackers’ tech-support group has died, so he’s stuck. Yes. When the last known tech dies, you are, indeed, stuck.
I feel for him, but I’m also tempted to write back:
“Kind Sir, please note that I have been responding to your messages for seven years and urging you to find a new solution. I hereby declare you obsolete. Bon chance.
P.S. Please stop putting emails in Courier.”
But that would be cruel. I could be that guy one day — or one of his many counterparts.
You’ve seen his kind: The people driving around looking for a Tower Records that sells LaserDiscs. The ones prowling the aisles at Home Depot trying to find a tube-tester “like Radio Shack had.” The poor souls with overstuffed wallets containing Pan Am frequent-fly numbers, Blockbuster cards, and Howard Johnson’s coupons.
They are the culturally un-dead.
It happens more easily than we’d like to admit: One minute we’re listening to a Hall and Oates tape on our Walkmans and the next we’re wondering if Goodwill will accept CDs with cracked jewel boxes.
So, take this as a cautionary tale: Don’t allow yourself — or your tech — to become obsolete. If you’re still going on AOL for your email, writing documents in WordPerfect, or preparing your taxes with Lotus 1-2-3, it’s time to move on.
And please don’t ask me to update your Palm Pilot.
Sidebar: What is Ecco Pro?
Ecco Pro was a personal info manager that launched in 1993 and crashed in 1997, despite much praise and an enthusiastic user base. Sadly, some of the user base is still enthusiastic.