Ecco Homo
Behold the random Internet guy keeps writing to me about 30-year-old software
Every few months, I get a very polite email from a man I’ve never met who got my email address from a defunct online discussion group. Each time, he asks me to help him get Ecco Pro working on his Windows 8 computer.
And every few months, I respond politely to explain that I’ve never used Ecco Pro, so I have no insights whatsoever. I also remind him, gently, that Ecco Pro hasn’t been updated since 1997, and Microsoft dropped Windows 8 a decade ago.
I could also add that I have no technical expertise, but it wouldn’t matter, because it never matters what I say. He disappears for a few months then returns with his next problem.
This week, he’s trying to upgrade to Windows 10 (why?), but the guy who ran the Ecco hackers’ tech-support group has died, so he’s stuck. Yes. When the last known tech dies, you are, indeed, stuck.
I feel for him, but I’m also tempted to write back:
“Kind Sir, please note that I have been responding to your messages for seven years and urging you to find a new solution. I hereby declare you obsolete. Bon chance.
P.S. Please stop putting emails in Courier.”
But that would be cruel. I could be that guy one day — or one of his many counterparts.
You’ve seen his kind: The people driving around looking for a Tower Records that sells LaserDiscs. The ones prowling the aisles at Home Depot trying to find a tube-tester “like Radio Shack had.” The poor souls with overstuffed wallets containing Pan Am frequent-fly numbers, Blockbuster cards, and Howard Johnson’s coupons.
They are the culturally un-dead.
It happens more easily than we’d like to admit: One minute we’re listening to a Hall and Oates tape on our Walkmans and the next we’re wondering if Goodwill will accept CDs with cracked jewel boxes.
So, take this as a cautionary tale: Don’t allow yourself — or your tech — to become obsolete. If you’re still going on AOL for your email, writing documents in WordPerfect, or preparing your taxes with Lotus 1-2-3, it’s time to move on.
And please don’t ask me to update your Palm Pilot.
Sidebar: What is Ecco Pro?
Ecco Pro was a personal info manager that launched in 1993 and crashed in 1997, despite much praise and an enthusiastic user base. Sadly, some of the user base is still enthusiastic.
Observant but there’s an element of “…just do this…” which presumes the capacity or capability to do so. A much younger neighbor was pointing out a distant landmark which I kept telling her I could not see. She became a bit exasperated, and I understood but I physically couldn’t see it despite my earnest attempt to do so. Yes a physical, developed limitation might be more easily grasped by those not [yet] so affected, but the same can be true of the cognitive realm. Pretty sure it’s all chemistry anyway and therefore also physical but I am acutely aware that my tolerance, speed, and capacity to learn and change are changing with the tolls of time. Then again in your situation it could just be bottom someone screwing around.
It might eventually be all of us. I was "rediscovering" the '80s and '90s listening to the albums from artists I couldn't afford when I was younger, but is now free on streaming.